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Chaos 2/1/17
SEGMENT 1: Jimmy Havoc comes out to a mixed reaction. Havoc enters the ring with a microphone and flips off some kids in the crowd that are booing him, getting heat from almost everyone after that. Havoc: Now, what I can’t fathom is what kind of low-life degenerate Shinsuke Nakamura is to interfere in my debut match like that? Ever since the code started, the whole world was raving about Jimmy Havoc. Then I debuted - and after your match finished because I have manners - and the world could not stop talking about Jimmy Havoc. So tell me this, Shinsuke, why should I show you any mercy? I could have cost you the World Championship two weeks ago, and I all I had to do was debut three minutes sooner. But enough of that. Your reckoning will come soon enough. I want to address Kazuchika Okada, the biggest coward any wrestling company has ever seen. Are you really going to accept your win like that, Okada? Handed to you on a silver platter just like everything else in life. I don’t blame you, if I had everything that easy I would continue to take it. But not me, I’ve had to fight and bleed for everything, and I can’t stand men like you acting like divas, stealing things that don’t belong to you. Now if you think I’m going to let you make it to the Royal Rumble in one piece, Okada, you’re sorely mistaken. So why don’t you come out here, and why don’t we settle this like men. (Kazuchika Okada’s music hits and he comes out to a mixed reaction. Okada enters the ring and gets in Havoc’s face.) Okada: Once again, you are NOTHING. Not a World title contender, not a main eventer, not on my level, and not certainly as cool and psychopathic as you think you are. Just a wannabe Marty Scurll, aren’t you? Havoc: Well to be fair, I was a World Champion before anyone knew who Marty was. But this isn’t about Marty nor is this about cheap insults is it? Okada: No it’s not. It’s about the fact that I AM the number one contender, and you shouldn’t even be in the same ring with me. Havoc: That’s funny, considering I had you beat right up until Nakamura decided to rear his ugly head. Okada: This isn’t about you. This is about me and Nakamura. I deserve a rematch, and I earned it. I don’t care if it wasn’t a clean win. I’m sure clean victories mean nothing to you either, so let’s cut the bullshit and get to the point. Havoc: THE POINT IS, I SHOULD BE THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER, AND EVERY WORD YOU SPIT OUT MAKES ME WANT TO PUMMEL YOUR HEAD INTO THE MAT AND RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF OF YOUR BODY. Okada: Calm down there, edgy boy. This is what separates the real men from the crybabies - Havoc: Shut up right now. You have no right to call anyone anything. You singlehandedly caused six months of devastation on this show. Normally, I would respect that. But I’ve changed. I’ve come a long way from who I was. Havoc isn’t about regression anymore. Havoc is Chaos. The two words go hand in hand. I was BORN to be the face of this show, and one way or another, I’m going to take that spot. (Shane McMahon’s music hits and he comes out to a huge pop. McMahon stops at the ramp.) McMahon: You know what, Jimmy? I respect that. So considering the fact that you were screwed out of a match last week, here’s what I’m going to give you… A ROYAL RUMBLE SPOT! Now, I know it’s not exactly what you want, but considering the circumstances, it’s the best I can offer. Havoc: I’ll take that. But this doesn’t mean I’m not done with you and Nakamura. So here’s the best I can give you, Okada - a warning. Watch your back. (Havoc exits the ring and walks to the back, passing McMahon, while Okada holds the ring.) MATCH 1: Mark Haskins and Curt Hawkins vs TM-61 TM-61 gets the win after Thorne connects a rolling cutter on Hawkins for the win at 6 minutes. SEGMENT 2: Enzo and Cass come out to a huge pop. Enzo and Cass dance on the stage before Enzo begins to speak. Enzo: MY NAME IS ENZO AMORE, AND I AM A CERTIFIED G AND A BONAFIDE STUD, AND YOU CAN’T TEACH THAT. AND THIS RIGHT HERE? THIS IS BIIIIIIG CASS, AND HE’S 7 FOOT TALL, AND YOU CAN’T TEACH THAT! BADA BOOM, REALEST GUYS IN THE ROOM HOW YOU DOIN? Cass: DEADASS B, WE OUT HERE LOOKIN FOR GOMEZ ADDAMS AND LURCH, CREEPIN AROUND LIKE A PAIR OF SCOOBY DOO MONSTERS. Enzo: WELL SLAP MY ASS AND CALL ME SCRAPPY, CAUSE WE’RE HERE TRYING TO SOLVE A MYSTERY, AND THAT IS HOW THE HELL DID THE DECAY GET THIS JOB? Cass: I got no idea, but all I know that the only thing decaying here is their career. You two came in with a lot of steam but it’s blown out your asses quicker than we’re going to beat you tonight. Enzo: Now let’s cut to the chase, or we could be out here all night running down creepy Cheech and Chong - the only difference is that what you guys are smoking is farts howyoudoin. Cass: Steve, Abyss, there’s only one word to describe you… AND I’M GOING TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU… S! A! W! F! T! S AAAAWWWWFFFFTTTT!!!!! (Enzo and Cass drop their mics and pose while The Decay comes out to nuclear heat. Steve and Abyss stand on the ramps and make their way down to the ring with mics in their hands.) Steve: Hahaha, it’s funny because you guys are losers. Last week, you lost right? And before you even got to Chaos, that’s all you used to do on Uprising - Lose. Well, you’re a pair of losers from a loser show who don’t know when to stop running your mouths. I’m afraid you’re just going to have to learn the hard way. Abyss: The Shadow Gods do not tolerate this type of disrespect. People think us crazy, they think us freaks, but the truth is there are many like us. Many on this show, and on the others too. The only difference is, we have accepted our curses of darkness and realized them for what they truly are, gifts. I have the gift of destruction and terror for you both tonight. Tonight, Enzo and Cass, you will DECAY. (Abyss and Steve drop the mics and take their corners while the referee calls for the bell.) MATCH 2: Enzo and Cass vs The Decay Abyss lays Cass out at ringside then enters the ring against Enzo. Steve distracts the referee while Abyss hits Enzo with an eye poke and the Black Hole Slam for the cover at 11 minutes. After the match The Decay continues to beat down on Enzo before leaving to the back, getting monster boos from the crowd. SEGMENT 3: AJ Styles’ music hits and he comes out to a huge pop from the crowd. Styles enters the ring with a microphone. Styles: God damn it’s been a hell of a month. I went through a war at Vindication, starting the match off from the very beginning, and lasting well until the end. Kenny Omega put me away, but hey, I’m still here and he isn’t. Now that HYDRA is gone, it’s time to focus on more pressing matters - the Royal Rumble. I feel like I spent my entire 2016 doing god knows what, fighting demons and corrupt general managers, but all that will now come to an end. I’m the Phenomenal One, I’m the damn face of Chaos, so it’s about time I get in that title scene. Hell, just last year at the Royal Rumble I won a World Championship from that failure of a dead brand Rampage, but I don’t even know if that counts for anything anymore. But let me just establish one thing, the only reason I’m not World Champion is because I haven’t sought it out yet. Now Nakamura, you’re one of my best friends on this show, and I don’t even know if you’re going to be champion in a few months, but if I win the Royal Rumble, you better be the damn champion. Today, today is the day the Phenomenal One rises to the top and takes what should rightfully be mine. (Hiroshi Tanahashi’s music plays, interrupting Styles to a mixed reaction. Tanahashi walks down and enters the ring.) Styles: Aren’t you supposed to be on Uprising? Tanahashi: A trade was in progress, but let’s be honest, I can’t leave Chaos. This is my home. I’ve won both major titles on this show, main evented several pay-per-views, and put on more five star matches than anyone this year. I’m the Ace of the Universe, but more importantly, I’m the Ace of Chaos. I also have the opportunity to be in the Royal Rumble. For me, this is just another opportunity that I will succeed in accomplishing. Last year I competed in the match, and to be fair I could have done better, but that’s in the past. Since then, I beat Kazuchika Okada twice on PPV to become both International and Chaos World Champion. I fought for this show against HYDRA and won. AJ, I respect you and everything you’ve done, but at the Royal Rumble, not only will you have to go through thirty nine other men, most importantly, you will have to go through Hiroshi Tanahashi. (Chris Jericho’s music plays and he comes out to a mixed reaction, getting heat from the casuals but cheers from the smarks.) Jericho: But more importantly you stupid idiot, you and thirty eight other men are all going to get one thing, one very special precious beverage, you’re going to get… The Gift of Jericho. Drink it in, maaaaan. I also began my career here on this shit show Chaos. I have nearly twenty years of Royal Rumble experience, so let’s not stand around here pretending to be better than the Ayatollah of Rocknrolla, ya dig? It’s time to show some respect to the greatest man on this show. AJ Styles, the Phenomenal One, and Hiroshi Tanahashi, the Ace of the Universe. Japan must have some stupid standards, if you two stupid idiots were the top guys. Chaos must have stupid standards too, but let’s be honest, if they were smart enough to sign me then I have nothing to say. I’m feeling extra good today. I’m not putting you two on the list - JUST KIDDING, AJ, HIROSHI, YOU JUST MADE THE -- (Tommy End’s music plays cutting Jericho off. End walks down the ramp and enters the ring.) End: Say one more word and I’m going to kick your head off your body. Jericho: LIST!!!! End: I warned you. END JUMPS AT JERICHO WITH A KNEE STRIKE SENDING HIM INTO THE CORNER!!! END AND JERICHO BEGIN TO DUKE IT OUT WHILE STYLES AND TANAHASHI LOOK ON! End whips Jericho into Styles, and Styles pushes Jericho away before getting in End’s face. Tanahashi comes in and tells them to calm down but JERICHO COMES FROM BEHIND JUMPING ON END!!! STYLES AND JERICHO BEGIN TO BRAWL NOW AND TANAHASHI JOINS IN, AND A FOUR MAN BRAWL ERUPTS IN THE RING! End sends Jericho out of the ring, and Tanahashi takes out Styles! End and Tanahashi trade blows but END GAINS THE UPPER HAND WITH A ROUNDHOUSE TO THE SIDE OF THE HEAD BEFORE CLOTHESLINING TANAHASHI OUT OF THE RING! End is the last man standing in the ring, getting a pop from the crowd. MATCH 3: Drew Gulak vs Heath Slater Gulak taps Slater out to the chickenwing at 8 minutes. SEGMENT 4: Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn come out to a thunderous pop from the crowd. A video package highlights their partnership on the indies while Zayn and Owens enter the ring with microphones. Zayn: Holy crap that was a helluva reaction. Thank you everybody. We’ve seen all the buzz going on ever since we came out, and we can tell that a lot of you have questions that we need to answer. First of all, yes, we are back together for real and El Steenerico is very much going to be challenging the Motor City Machine Guns at the Royal Rumble. Secondly, yes, I am under official contract with Chaos. Someone was traded to Survival but that was a very confidential deal and I have no idea who they sent over for me. Thirdly, this was more of a question meant for me. Why did I arrive and help out Kevin after everything? Well, for the first time since we were in our early twenties honestly, I saw that Kevin was truly willing to do the right thing. I saw it in June, albeit reluctantly, he was willing to sacrifice his World Championship to keep Shane McMahon, a man he hated, in charge of the show because he knew the alternative was worse. He put his career on the line against Kazuchika Okada, and despite losing, he honored his commitment, and stayed back until Shane brought him back. Kevin and I are now more alike than ever, and that’s why I came out to ensure that he beat Matanza Cueto and finally banished Dario Cueto from Chaos. Owens: Thank you Sami. Yes, we did good things for Chaos but that’s in the past. Now it’s time to do another good thing yeah? The Motor City Machine Guns have ran their course. Not because they’re legendary or the best tag team ever as they claim, but because they have yet to face real competition. There have been times you almost lost. You almost lost to The Usos, reDragon, The Decay, Y2BAYBAY, and the list goes on and on. Now that isn’t to say you aren’t good. You guys are great. Better than average even, but let’s be honest. Against El Steenerico, you’re not going to stand a chance. At the Royal Rumble, we put an end to your reign. You’ve overstayed your welcome, and we’re going to send you home. (The Motor City Machine Gun music hits and Sabin and Shelley come out to a mixed reaction. Sabin and Shelley enter the ring and hold their titles in Owens and Zayn’s faces.) Shelley: Send us home where, Kevin? I’m not surprised you’re talking about home considering the fact that you spent the last four months there after Okada ended your career. So frankly, you shouldn’t even be out here, and the fact that you think you can challenge us surprises me. What have you done to earn this opportunity huh? Beat HYDRA? I don’t give a fuck about HYDRA. Whether Shane was in charge, or whether Dario was in charge, one thing remained constant and that was the fact that the Motor City Machine Guns were the Chaos World Tag Team Champions. Like we said, we are legends. The best damn tag team in this entire company, the best damn tag team in this industry, and the best damn tag team of all time. Sabin: I know you wouldn’t understand the proper merit of being a World Champion, considering you’ve made a career of sneak attacks and general cuntery, but here’s something you might appreciate. We’ve brought these titles to new levels. We are perhaps the most legitimate champions on this show! We always put on four star matches, AT LEAST. We’ve beaten them all too, from The Usos, to even Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles. That’s something we have that even you don’t! A clean win over Nakamura. So I don’t care how much people care about your reunion here. It’s only a matter of time before one of you egomaniacs turn on each other anyways. So the point is, you should be lucky you’re getting a title opportunity in the first place. As for the Royal Rumble, the obvious will happen again - The Motor City Machine Guns will retain. (The MCMG hold their titles up again, getting some heat from the crowd, before going to ringside for El Steenerico’s match.) MATCH 4: Owens and Zayn vs #DIY Owens and Zayn win at 4 minutes after Owens hits the Pop-Up Powerbomb on Ciampa. After the match, Sabin and Shelley come into the ring holding up their championships to their faces. Owens starts to trash talk and Sabin gets in his face, but Zayn pulls Owens back. Sabin and Shelley walk to the back getting heat from the crowd while Owens and Zayn hold the ring. SEGMENT 5: Finn Balor is backstage getting ready for the main event, when Hideo Itami comes up to him, with the International Championship around his shoulder. Itami: Getting ready for tonight? Balor: Damn right. You know, Hideo, I never would have imagined a few months ago challenging for this title. Honestly, I thought it was beneath me. But you’ve brought this title to new heights, and now I can say it’s an honor facing you for this title. That being said, don’t expect any mercy out there. We make good partners, but I’m sure we’ll make even better opponents. Itami: You don’t need to tell me about mercy. Don’t expect anything less than me trying to knock you out. And believe me, I will. Ask Kota Ibushi if you don’t believe me. I value this title more than anything. More than friends, more than my life. I will put it all on the line to retain. But in the end, all that matters is we put on a good match. Balor: There’s no doubt in my mind we will. (Balor extends his arm for a handshake, but Itami looks down… And holds the title up to Balor’s face.) Itami: Save it for after the match. (Itami takes his title and walks off while Balor looks on.) SEGMENT 6: Shinsuke Nakamura’s theme plays to a huge pop from the crowd. Nakamura holds the championship up while walking to the ring and does the rope hang pose with the title around his waist. Nakamura grabs a microphone and begins to speak. Nakamura: Last week I said that my destiny was fulfilled when I won the championship, but I realize now that the journey is only half of the trip. Being a successful champion is about reaching the top and staying there. I did that in Japan when I won the Intercontinental Championship and made it equal to the World Heavyweight Championship, just like how Hideo Itami is doing with the International Championship. I’m proud that he’s main-eventing tonight, and he has earned the right to main event whenever he wants. But enough about that. Last week, Kazuchika Okada beat Jimmy Havoc to earn the right to face the King of Strong Style. I’ll admit that I played a part in that match, but I wasn’t going to let Jimmy Havoc steal another one of my championship belts, so I came down and rightfully took what was mine. He decided to come for me, and he cost himself the match. Jimmy Havoc, I know what you’re doing. You walk in here and go straight for the top dog to try to make a name for yourself. Maybe if you came in a few weeks earlier when Okada was champion that would have worked, but you’ve picked a fight with the wrong man. Here is the problem though, to me, you’re nothing. You’re not the number one contender, I’m not facing you any time for the foreseeable future, and let’s be honest, you have no chance of winning the Royal Rumble. Now I’m going to warn you one last time, because I have Okada to focus on now, if you mess with me again, I will make you pay. (Jimmy Havoc comes out to nearly nuclear heat. Havoc enters the ring and gets in Nakamura’s face before backing up to speak.) Havoc: I debuted on this show after weeks of hype about the code. That code stood for something. I spent years in England being made out to be a joke, and after proving myself not with the “spirit of competition”, not by being the top face of the show, yet I poured out my blood, sweat, and tears for everyone, getting nothing back. Then I realized, I can’t wait to get anything, I have to take it for myself. I embodied then the spirit of destruction, I became not the top good guy, but I turned an entire company against me and still won in the end. I’m not pouring out my blood, sweat, or tears anymore, I’m going to take them from anyone foolish enough to challenge me. Nakamura, last week you stole the ultimate opportunity for me, and frankly I don’t care if I got the Royal Rumble spot or not. I should be the number one contender for the World Championship. I’m not going to stand around here listening to your empty threats. You want to make me pay Nakamura? Make me pay. But in the end, I’ll make you suffer and I’ll enjoy every minute of it. Havoc drops his mic and gets in Nakamura’s face. Nakamura holds his title up then turns to walk away but Havoc pulls him back - AND A BRAWL BREAKS OUT!!! Havoc takes Nakamura to the mat but Nakamura rolls on top of him and lays into him with forearm shots! Havoc and Nakamura go back and forth until Kazuchika Okada comes running down to a mixed reaction! Havoc is on top of Nakamura beating down with hard shots but Okada pulls Havoc off and whips him into the ropes before taking him out of the ring with a big boot! Nakamura starts to get up… THEN CHARGES AT OKADA WITH THE KINSHASA - BUT OKADA DUCKS UNDERNEATH IT AND TURNS NAKAMURA INSIDE OUT WITH THE RAINMAKER!!! Okada picks up the World Championship and holds it up to a small pop from the crowd before dropping it back over Nakamura, getting some heat again. MATCH 5: AJ Styles vs Hiroshi Tanahashi vs Chris Jericho vs Tommy End Towards the end, End begins to dominate the match but Jericho rolls in with a chair and attacks him. Tanahashi takes Jericho down with a Slingblade and Styles takes Tanahashi out with the Phenomenal Forearm. Styles sees End getting back up and hits the Styles Clash for the win at 13 minutes. After the match End tries to attack Jericho but Jericho rolls out of the ring and runs to the back. MAIN EVENT: Hideo Itami © vs Finn Balor - International Championship Itami and Balor start off evenly matched. The two go for chain wrestling but keep returning back to square one. Itami holds the advantage at the start, going right for Balor’s head with hard kicks. Itami gets a Shotgun Kick that knocks Balor down and goes for head stomps but Balor counters and brings the match back to his favor, working Itami’s leg. Balor goes for a Bloody Sunday but Itami fights out of it and nails a roundhouse to chest. More of Itami dominating but Balor puts him down with the Slingblade. Balor makes a comeback with a dropkick sending Itami to the corner and another hesitation dropkick to put him down. Balor climbs for the Coup De Grace and flies but Itami rolls away. Balor goes for the Bloody Sunday instead but Itami fights out of it and kicks Balor in the side before hitting the Busaiku Knee. Itami signals for the end and picks up Balor… Itami has Balor up for the GTS… AND CONNECTS IT!!! Itami goes for the cover! But one of the cameramen ENTER THE RING AND BASHES ITAMI OVER THE HEAD WITH THE CAMERA!!! The referee calls for a DQ!!! The cameraman rolls Balor out of the ring and waits for Itami to get up… AND NAILS HIM WITH A SPEAR!!! The cameraman takes off his hood and hat… TO REVEAL KOTA IBUSHI!!! Ibushi takes the International Championship from ringside and brings it into the ring, and spits on it before dropping it over Itami. The show comes to an end with Itami laid out in the ring and Ibushi walking to the back, getting monstrous boos from the crowd.